Guide to Getting It On! by Paul Joannides

“I note a distinct lack of the Kentucky Tractor Puller. Like a professional cage fighter seeking an edge by exploring aerobic kickboxing classes, I see only the rudimentary steps of my long journey here recapitulated for the incipient sexologist, “But.” I said to myself, while maneuvering my cloaca over bristly facial terrain due to a sudden itch, “This does not derogate from my duty to rate this ambitious work on the basis of its stated goal, which is not to satisfy those of us who have moved past the knee of the exponential in matters of deviancy, but rather to help those who desire an erogenous directory full of numbers to punch when fingering the dial at random fails to produce meaningful dialogue. But, having debased myself with actions fit only to occupy remote corners of urban dictionary, it is folly to seek instruction from manuals of this kind. electroplating) a fortunate soul in order to produce a labile environment for any new information to inundate dormant synaptic junctions with coital custard. doping), it is no surprise that I read most of this book while Queening (i.e. (This parenthetical mood I’ve been in lately is really interfering with my ability to focus, so, for the remainder of this review, I am committed to flipping my nipples with a rubber band whenever the urge to bracket additional information is indulged) Having been bombarded with ions to alter my conducive properties many times before, (i.e. terminals in your imagination) to self (insert) you and your amorous liaisons in the photolitho(graphic) printing process (don’t forge(t) your UV l(ight) mask) where you can then be put th(rough) your paces, par(tit)ioned into die(s), then (package)d bet(ween) a (sub)str(ate) and a (h(eat) (spread)er (alright, this is getting pretty (raunchy).

silicone) although you’re (in)vited to imagine fab technicians in (ass)less bunny suits (violating) the spirit of clean rooms and (ruin)ing transistors aplenty with the (ejection) of (orga)nic contaminants via surrep(tit)ious fla(gel)lation) utilizing (CAD) workstations (i.e. silicon) (not to be confused with the principle ingredient of augmented chest plumage (i.e. engage in (missionary) activities.) and wish to arm themselves for full contact Kyokushin Body Karate by engraving their hypothalamic wafers (not to be confused with the principle ingredient of beach sand (i.e. Who could hope to index even a fr(action) of them and ins(piss)(ate) (ream)s of paper (in)to a (thick) cube of con(nub)ial (and casual) contortions for enterp(rising) (sex)nauts that are looking to emancipate themselves from the untuto(red) need to p(rose)lytize in foreign countries (i.e. The mind b(oggle)s at all the novel (fric)tions taking p(lace) every second of every day.

Guide to Getting It On! by Paul Joannides